Whoever said “What comes around, goes
around” can “KISS MY GRITS!” Most of today’s
popular TV shows are clearly attempting replication of the glory days of
television – the 1980s.
the end, they are simply poor substitutes for the veritable
feast of legendary television we enjoyed 20 years ago. CSI? Give
me Crockett and Tubbs
any day ... everyone knows that real men wear hot pink blazers
and white pants. X-Files was clearly a spin-off from
ALF ... the goofiest ‘Alternate Life Form” we all knew and
loved. The O.C.? You have got to be joking ... with
Dallas, people around the world came together to
ponder “Who Shot JR!” No comparison. Where is the originality?
Where’s the next “Greatest American Hero” to save us from the
current television doldrums? Who knew we were once in the
presence of TV greatness when spending a night with Alex P.
Keaton, Norm and Cliff, Gopher and Doc or Larry, Darryl, and
Everything and everyone else simply dulls in comparison. And latent
memories from 80s TV shows will still sneak up on me when I least expect
it. When I had my first real kiss in 7th grade, I kept thinking “this is
not nearly as romantic as Kevin and Winnie’s.” When I bought my first car,
it was less than 24 hours before I discreetly tried to get in and out
using the window instead of the door. When I went to college, I just
figured my parents did not pay the extra money to get me a big dorm room
like Whitley Gilbert’s.
Recently, I was
enduring an impossibly dull dinner date, when I suddenly whispered into my
watch, “KIT, where are you? Meet me outside in ten minutes.” And if you
are a girl-child of the 80s, you must confess that at one time or another,
you and your girlfriends have seriously discussed the question of who is
“Blanche,” who is “Dorothy” and who is “Rose?”
My point is that these shows do not simply
represent the pinnacle of television history; they are ingrained in the
very souls of every fortunate child of the 80s…and don’t even get me
started on zerberts. I gave one to my 5-year nephew last week and he
looked at my like I was crazy…so I offered him some J-E-L-L-O instead.