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A Love Letter to a Big Stinker:
Polo Cologne

By Lori Ferraro

Polo CologneThe other day while on my lunch break downtown, I got caught behind a man wearing a cloud of fragrance that sent me screaming back to the eighth grade. This man had apparently just bathed in a bathtub of Polo cologne, and I was hopelessly left in his wake.

At first I coughed - and then I smiled, altering my route to follow him an extra block – no joke.

Polo cologne, hitting the scent scene in 1978, was a young man’s 80s staple. Drakkar Noir and Cool Water trailed far behind Polo - the official king of pre-teen-boy-stink. The smell of Friday nights, school dances, and first kisses in the back of movie theaters.

 

Every boy in junior high was wearing the stuff in the fancy green bottle – the poor school bus driver, the bus just reeked of the heavy, woodsy smell. My gaggle of girlfriends and I loved it and drank in the smell on the Member’s Only jacket’s lent to us by various fourteen-year-old-crushes.

Ricky – he wore Polo – and had a moustache.
Ricky – he wore Polo – and had a moustache.

The Ralph Lauren website describes Polo as follows:

“Celebrating the timeless appeal of the sporting lifestyle, Ralph Lauren's legendary Polo fragrance blends the very best of wood, leather and other natural scents to convey a handsome, enduring character.”

I don’t think many boys at my junior high school celebrated “the sporting lifestyle” – I think mostly they celebrated their Camaros, Foreigner and eating as many rolls as they possibly could at school lunch.

Marc – he wore Polo and dressed like a businessman.
Marc – he wore Polo and dressed like a businessman.

And here’s the thing – the cologne wasn’t/isn’t bad – it’s just SO FRIGGIN’ STRONG – combine that with the fact that these were young boys who didn’t know that less is more. You can compare it to when us girls could clear a room with our stinky Obsession or Poison perfumes – again – less is more. Much less, in fact.

The sight of that hunter green bottle with the little gold man on a horse at the men’s fragrance department makes me all nostalgic - I’ll sneak a whiff and breathe in 1985 for a minute or two. Then I cough and wonder who’s buying this stuff today? I mean, besides that guy who sent my scent-memory into overdrive the other day? Perhaps this guy? My freshman year homecoming date?

Anthony – he wore Polo and had a curly perm. And a moustache.
Anthony – he wore Polo and had a curly perm. And a moustache.

Yep, probably this guy.

Lori Ferraro is the author of the website Drawn to the 80s where the greatest hits of the 1980’s are illustrated by her five-year-old son. Her blog www.onceuponaproduct.com is where you can read about her obsessions with make up, food, Mick Jagger, big hair, boys and yes...the 80's.

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