DISCLAIMER: Getting a
Tan = Sun Damage. Regular tanning, from the sun or from a tanning
bed/booth, is a cancer risk.
Learn more here.
We all know that nowadays, right? The following article
describes how we tanned in the 80’s when we were younger and
foolish-er. It is NOT meant to instruct you to actually run out
and do it today. Like, if I told you to jump off a twenty-story
building, would you do it? I DIDN’T THINK SO.
It’s almost summertime! Well, sort of.
It’s mid March as I type this, but I’m heartily sick of winter and I’ve
got my eye on the prize. I LOVE summer: the heat, the long days, the
catchy pop music, the cute clothes and sandals, and maybe just a wee bit
of a tan. Let’s revisit how we got that summertime glow, 80’s style.
Step One: GET A CUTE BATHING
SUIT. You’re going to want it skimpy. Obviously, bikinis
provide a lot of exposure, but there are some very cute one-pieces with
sexy cut-outs, as well. Underwire is a nice touch. Perhaps not the
comfiest addition to your attire, but it will provide a flattering lift
and separate to your bosom. Be sure to get very high cut bottoms, too,
for that legs-up-to-there look. Neon prints are eye-catching and will
set off your tan. Hot brands are Ocean Pacific and Body Glove. I suggest
getting a couple of different styles so that you can hit some of the
areas covered up by one suit when you wear a different one, thus
minimizing the visible tan lines.
Step Two: GET A BASE TAN.
This might involve a couple of burn/peel cycles, so have the Panama Jack
aloe vera handy. If you must, apply some SPF 8 Panama Jack or Banana
Boat sunscreen during this process, but avoid if possible. It’s just an
unfortunate phase you have to get through on your way to burnished
bronze, so push on through as fast as possible. Don’t get discouraged!
Step Three: WORK ON YOUR TAN
DAILY. A rich, bronze tan takes real commitment. Ideally, you
can rush home after school and get in a good forty-five minutes in the
backyard on a beach towel. Or, if you work, try to arrange your schedule
so you can catch some good rays every day. Be sure to spend an equal
amount of time on front and back. Also, don’t forget to unhook your
bikini top when you’re on your stomach and slip your straps down over
your shoulders when you’re on your back so your back and shoulders are
Step Four: GO DEEPER AND DARKER.
When you’re ready to aim for a truly startling shade of bronze, it’s
time for some tanning accelerator. I suggest
Body Drench Tan FX Lotion: Tanning Accelerator for Experienced Tanners.
Apply it a few minutes before each tanning session to let the sun soak
even deeper into your skin. The other classic 80s tanning accelerator
option is Bain de Soleil, you know, for the St. Tropez tan.
Step Five: DON’T LET WEATHER BE A FACTOR
IN YOUR TAN. So what if it’s overcast, chilly, or snowy? That’s what
tanning beds are for. Go ahead and invest in a year’s membership to a
tanning salon, if your fitness center or hair salon doesn’t have a
tanning bed you can use. You may want to buy your own tanning goggles to
wear, too. Don’t forget to spray down the entire surface of the tanning
bed with disinfectant and wipe it dry before each use. Tanning bed use
has the bonus of Tan Line Elimination: strip down to your birthday suit
before you tan, and watch those white strap marks disappear.
Step Six: USE A SELF-TANNER. If you’re
not quite satisfied with the depth of your tan, or if you’re starting to
heed those pesky rumors of “sun damage,” you need to break out the
self-tanner. Buy some QT (or “Quick Tan”) and get a fast, sun-free tan.
When self-tanning, exfoliate in the shower first. I like St. Ives
Apricot Scrub. Dry off, and then apply the self-tanner EVENLY. Go very
lightly on the elbows, knees, and feet. I suggest doing your feet last
and using a mixture of ½ QT and ½ Jergen’s Body Lotion. Finally, WASH
YOUR HANDS, especially between your fingers. You’ll want to loiter naked
a bit in the bathroom while it soaks in to avoid staining your clothes.