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Ryan’s Bodacious Weekly Countdown
Ryan’s Bodacious Weekly Countdown
By Ryan Zimmerman
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Ryan on Twitter @ryanzonline
New 03.04.09: Hi everyone—this is my first of many, I hope, Top 5 countdowns of various topics from the most beloved decade – the 1980s.
Top 5 Movie Bad Guys (and Girls) from the 1980s
5. Dolph Lundgren as “Ivan Drago” in Rocky IV – In 1985,
Rocky IV brought us the man-beast known as Ivan Drago. Drago took to the
ring and ended Apollo Creed’s career, and life, in an unparalleled
beating. Rocky had enough of Drago’s “if he dies, he dies” mentality, and
takes him on in a match to avenge his friend’s death. Drago and Balboa go
head to head in the Soviet Union, where Rocky prevails and somehow gets
the entire Soviet audience to chant his name. That’s cold….like “Cold War”
cold….
4. Thomas F. Wilson as “Biff Tannen” in Back to the Future – Biff
was a tri-fold bully--- being able to bully in the past, present and
future. Whether it was George or Marty, the McFly boys were often at the
bad end of a Biff Temper Tannen-trum. But after having a manure truck
dumped on his car, and being knocked out by George at the Enchantment
Under the Sea dance, Biff made like a tree, and got out of there—and
continued his bullying ways into the many sequels that followed.
3. Anne Ramsey as “Ma Fratelli” in The Goonies – Ma Fratelli was as
vicious as they come. She killed an FBI agent, she wanted to put Chunk’s
hand in a blender and she dropped her baby son, Sloth once…..”or maybe
twice.” She personified a bulldog, not only in her unrelenting chasing of
the Goonie crew, but with her feverish grunting and jowls flapping in the
wind as she was in pursuit. She, of course, was captured by the police at
the end of the movie, and was sentenced to jail time and as a part of her
rehabilitation, was forced to star in “Throw Momma from the Train.”
2. Zack Ward as “Scut Farkas” in A Christmas Story – With his
coonskin cap and his “yellow eyes”, Scut Farkas struck fear in every
elementary school child in Hohman, Indiana. He peddled around with his
toady, Grover, as they awaited any unlucky kid on his way home from school
that happened to cross their path. Ralphie eventually broke down and took
on Farkas’ insults and rants with a fury of fists, which ended Scut’s
regime as town bully. Thus solidifying the momentous event as the “Scut
Farkus affair,” which it came to be known, as a true historic moment.
1. Billy Zabka as “Johnny Lawrence” in The Karate Kid – Fueled by
jealous rage, this leader of the Cobra Kai ran Daniel-San off the road
with his motorcycle, performed a beachside beat down on Daniel’s face and
then worked to “Sweep the Leg” of our hero at the All Valley Karate
Tournament. Of course, as we know, Daniel and his Crane Kick end up the
victor—so, Johnny leaves alone, without Ali, and goes home alone to “Wax
on and Wax off” by himself.
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