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Ryan’s Bodacious Weekly Countdown
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 By Ryan Zimmerman
 Follow
Ryan on Twitter
@ryanzonline
New 07.24.09: Ryan here, and I am back with this week’s top 5. This
week, Top 5 Movie Sidekicks. While they may not have been cast as the
lead or receive top billing, without these guys, the movies they were in
would have been far less than tubular.
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Top 5 80s Movie Sidekicks
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5. Stiles – The name says it all . . . “Stiles.” He was the wonderful
wise-cracking pal of Scott Howard in Teen Wolf with a knack for wearing
tee shirts with uncouth (and for this article, unrepeatable) slogans. He
made the Teen Wolf phenomenon a marketable and profitable venture, and
drove the Wolf Mobile around town when he wasn’t hosting Jell-O and
closet make out parties. While there were other memorable names like
Boof and Chubby, Stiles was the real leader of the gang. If you haven’t
seen it, go out and buy Teen Wolf, as it now comes packaged for
free with Teen Wolf Too. . . . I’m going out on a limb here and
thinking that was because “Too” wasn’t flying off the shelves by
itself. |
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4. Cameron –
The man brought the Sausage King of Chicago and George Peterson to life
with his vast array of vocal talent. Though he lived in the shadow of
Ferris Bueller, Cameron while often reluctant at first, would take part
in the wild rides Ferris would concoct. He had access to the 1969
Ferrari 250GT California (Cherry Red), and helped aid Ferris in his
rescuing of Sloane from school. He was the bland chip to Bueller's fiery
salsa. He was the stale crackers to Bueller's spicy soup. But, he was
essential as all of those things to help form a perfect tandem
of friendship. Not essential apparently to the film was Charlie
Sheen's character, simply called "Boy in Police Station." Hmmm .
. . foreshadowing, perhaps? |
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3.
Cousin Eddie – Everybody has that one distant relative that
they would just as soon not see. The annoying slob that mooches off you and every
word they say is either offensive or plain nonsense. To the Griswolds,
that was Cousin Eddie. Whether he was cooking up Hamburger Helper (sans
hamburger) or buying a new Leisure Suit, Eddie was always up to his
classy ways. Without him in the movies, however, it would be like
watching a sober David Hasselhoff. . . . Still entertaining, but just
not nearly as funny. |
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2.
Long Duk Dong – Nothing spices up an 80s comedy like the lovable
foreign exchange student, still set in his foreign ways. The Donger (he
he…can’t say that without laughing) was totally Far Out and came from
the Far East. His grammar needed work, his alcohol consumption needed
help, but all in all, the guy was too entertaining not to love. The
Asian Sensation in real life was actually born in Utah, not across the
globe. Utah is now known for the actor, as well as polygamy—which is
obviously when people get married multiple times. . . . ”Yes, Married!
Sheesh.” |
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1.
Booger – This foul frat boy had worse manners than Spencer
Pratt at a d-bag convention. You can take all things nasty and
compile them into one body, and that body would be that of the
belching Booger. He was vile and nerdy, nasty and dirty, but he
was a Tri Lamb and oh so nerdy. He was slimy, crusty and sticky,
but in the end, they just couldn’t have “picked” a better actor
for the role. |
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