Schwartzeneggar, Sylvester Stallone, Harrison Ford—these are the names
we think of when we think 80s action stars. However, there is one name
that, despite being known for starring in some pretty
gag-me-with-a-spoon-worthy schlock movies, is still worthy of mentioning
for at least a few awful yet awesome acting jobs as the main star in
some so-bad-it's-good movies.
That name is Reb Brown. And, one of the
movies he starred in is a European science-fiction work of awful art
from 1983 called Yor, The Hunter From The Future.
Yor tells the story of a caveman known as (you guessed it) Yor, and opens
with him jogging faround a mountainside (I hear he jogs like a girl, but
I fail to see what's so girly about his jogging). When he rescues a
woman named Kala (Corinne Clery) rom a rampaging Triceratops (and drinks
its blood “to gain its strength”), he is welcomed to her village, where
he discovers from the girls old fat guardian named Pak (Luciano
Pigozzi) that the mysterious amulet he wears around his neck is worn by
a mysterious woman in the desert. After rescuing Kala after she and her
people are kidnapped by a race of purple caveman (yeah, you read right,
PURPLE CAVEMEN), Yor, Kala, and Pak accompany Yor on a journey of
self-discovery, during which they come across rival tribes, more
dinosaurs, and ... robots that look like Darth Vader?
Yeah, a lot of things seem wrong about this movie. Yor's running in the
beginning is very silly, the special effects for some of the dinosaurs
are VERY cheap (so are some of the sets, particularly the ones at the
end), and the acting could be brought into question (I didn't question
it, but some people might). However, despite all of that, the movie is
still a good movie to watch. The action scenes (and the theme song,
which you can listen to below) are awesome, it's got LOADS of memorable
lines (”Damn talking box!” quote from Yor), and it's pretty cool to see
a caveman fire lasers at robots looking like Darth Vader.
Now, Yor isn't the best movie (heck, there are plenty of WAY better-made
movies than Yor), but that doesn't mean you shouldn't see it. If you
watch it, I guarantee that from beginning to end, you will like this
movie. Sadly, it was only released in Germany on Region 2 DVD and the
VHS has been out of print for years. However, don't despair. The VHS of
Yor is still available on Ebay for reasonable prices. And hey, if you
can't get a copy, there's always Youtube.