Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. What could be better than going door to door—in a costume no less— and asking total strangers to give you candy? What’s even wilder is that they actually give you candy! The 80s were my prime trick-or-treating years and I raked in the loot! I was very grateful for this cornucopia of treats, with very few “tricks,” which should be understood here to mean “candy that sucks a**.” (Don’t even get me started on the people who would hand out boxes of raisins.) Halloween was an especially sweet time because my mom strictly limited our sugar intake, which I now appreciate, but which at the time I found to be dragsville.
Every year, scattered among the treats haul of mini Hershey bars, Sweet Tarts, and Tootsie Rolls would be a few tricks. And that unwanted Halloween trick came in the form of these tooth-breaking, nasty-as-all-get-out, faux peanut-butter-flavored rocks. It’s like they were wearing their own Halloween costume. They were large pieces of gravel masquerading as Halloween candy. And they almost pull it off with their holiday-colored black and orange wrappings. I was only ever fooled once. In subsequent years, these nuggets of nastiness went untouched. I couldn’t even get my little sister to take them in the elaborate post-holiday candy trade.
I turns out that these orange and black wrapped rocks have a proper name: Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses, made by Necco. If those things are kisses, they are the kisses of a creepy, middle-aged uncle who lives with his mom and isn’t allowed to have a computer with Internet access.
While I am certainly not alone in my belief that the Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kiss is the worst Halloween candy ever, a small, but vocal, minority of our readers on Facebook have weighed in on the side of the Peanut Butter kiss. Christina L. comments, “They’re in my candy dish right now – I love them!”
So, what say you? Worst candy ever? Vote below.