80s Jokes

80s-jokesWelcome to the 1980s humor time warp.  Here is our collection of 80s-themed jokes.  Humor that only exists in its time context.

Q:  What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught fire? (user submitted 06.05.07)
A:  Beat it!

Q:  What do you call Dolly Parton doing the backstroke?
A:  Islands in the Stream

Q:  Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?
A:  John Cougar’s Melon Camp

Q:  What’s grosser than sweat on Olivia Newton John?
A:  Come on Eileen

Q:  How did Billy Squier die?
A:  Stroke! Stroke!

Q:  What is the difference Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A:  Michael Jackson was burned using Pepsi and Richard Pryor was burned using Coke.

Q:  What happened when Michael Jackson invited Billy Squire and Kiss for a party?
A:  Michael beat it, Billy stroked it and Kiss licked it up.

Q:  How long did Lionel Ritchie sit on the toilet?
A:  All Night Long!

Q:  Why did the Valley Girl take two birth control pills?
A:  To be “fer sure, fer sure.”

Q:  How many letters are in the alphabet?
A:  22, cuz E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R.

A 3-fer of Yugo jokes:

Q:  What do you call a Yugo convertible with 2 tailpipes?
A:  A wheelbarrow.

Q:  How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A:  Fill the gas tank.

Q:  What does every Yugo come with?
A:  A bus schedule.

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Author: Pia Sooney

Just a little obsessed with all things 80s, Pia still has her Swatch, her cassette tape collection, and her Converse Chucks. When not making friendship pins or listening to Depeche Mode, she runs a web design business.

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